Mature Jokes

A newlywed couple was spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains of Scotland. They had registered on Saturday, and they had not been seen for five days. An elderly couple ran the resort...

Ek Aadmi Ki Shaadi Ek Traafic Police Waali Ladki Se Ho Jati Hai. Agle Din Uske Doston Ne Pucha: Bata Bhai Kaisi Rahi Suhagrat?
Aadmi: Mat Pucho Yaar, Bahut Bura Hua Mere Saath. Kisi Police Waali Ke Saath...

A Nigerian man goes on blind date, picks up his date in a large BMW. The girl comments, "This car is Big! "
He replies, "Ah ma sista, everyting in nigeria is big!"
They get to a restaurant for dinner, to which she says...

A doctor complains to his colleagues about the sanitary problems at a latex glove factory in Mexico. "Workers stick their hands in melted latex and then dip their hands in a vat of cooling water to solidify...

A man with a fetish for very large women walks into a house of ill repute. When asked what he wants, he says, "I want a really large woman - as big as possible."
He is shown this enormous woman, but...

This man got his prescription for Viagra, and goes home to get ready for when his wife gets home. He calls her on the phone, and says, "I`ll be home in an hour."
"Perfect," she replies. The man thinks her agreement...

A farmer and his wife were lying in bed one evening; she was knitting, he was reading the latest issue of Animal Husbandry. He looks up from the page and says to her, "Did you know that humans are the only species in which...

The following are all replies that Dallas women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing the father`s details. These are genuine excerpts from the forms. It is scary to think that these women are breeding...

A lady marched into the doctors office with a tiny miserable baby that was howling at the top of its lungs and demanded, "Do something about this baby." After a quick examination, the doctor realized the baby was malnourished...

An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new pair of glasses. The Captain looked in his book of record and said, "But you just got a new pair last month!"
"Yes sir, but I got them broken in an accident...