Mature Jokes

This guy comes back home from work to find his wife has left him a note "Off to the grocery store". He hasn`t been "getting any" from her, so he decides this is his chance and goes to the video store to rent a porn flick...

A stripper in a hurry to get home leaves the club with nothing on but a loose coat. As she crosses the street a drunk driver skids around the corner and hits her. She goes flying into the air, and lands unconscious...

A man was suffering from a stomach ache, so he told his wife who suggested he try the tablets the doctor had given her for a similar pain. After taking his wife`s tablets for a week, the pain disappeared but...

A notorious womanizer left a trail of broken hearts behind him, until he betrayed the wrong woman a practicing witch. The morning after she had caught ICE-Man with another girl, he awoke with an itchy bump...

Found my son and his girlfriend naked in his room. Sex-ed is so advanced now, they also give homework!
I heard my daughter tell her friend she ate her boyfriend`s cock last night. Last time I checked she didn`t...

"I`m in love with one of my sheep," the nervous young man told his psychiatrist.
"Nothing to worry about," the psychiatrist consoled. "Many people are fond of animals. As a matter of fact, my wife and I have...

One evening Ole and Sven are sitting in the bar getting drunk. Ole turns to Sven and asks, "Ven do you suppose dose girls are gonna make out vit us?"
Sven says, "Donno, but I`m drunk enuf to go ask em...

An American, a Englishman and an Aussie are talking about screams of passion. The American said, "Last night I massaged my wife all over her Body with the finest body oil money can buy, then we made passionate love...

A groom passed down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar. The best man noticed that the groom had the biggest, brightest smile on his face. The best man asked, "Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married...

A young couple married, and celebrated their first night together doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long. when they get in the morning, the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel...