Mature Jokes

A man was shopping in the men`s department at John Lewis when he noticed an absolutely beautiful woman behind the sales counter. He went up to her and said, "Good morning, madam." She smiled pleasantly and asked...

During an international gynecology conference, an English doctor and a French doctor were discussing unusual cases they had treated recently. "Only last week," the Frenchman said, "a woman came to see me with a clitoris...

Greg was explaining the facts of life to his teenage nephew. After covering the basic biology, he moved on to the finer points of lovemaking. "One thing to keep in mind is that different women say different things...

Marilyn had a parrot for a pet, but the parrot would embarrass her whenever she came into the apartment with a man. He would shout all kinds of obscenities, always leading off with "Somebody`s gonna get it tonight...

The teacher decided that in science class, she would teach her students about different materials. Standing at the front of the class, she asked, "Children, if you were able to have one raw material in the world, what would it be...

A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat`, agreed to look after her neighbor`s male dog while the neighbors were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, that night...

All the farmers for a hundred miles around were attending the wedding of a young Australian couple. Waiting for things to get started, they were somewhat shocked to see the bride`s father storm up the aisle...

A man goes into a little neighborhood pub, and when he sits down, he notices a beautiful woman sitting at the other end of the bar. He waves to her, and much to his surprise, she winks back at him. It doesn`t take long before...

Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odor. "Do you wash?" the doc asked the rank young girl.
"Oh, yes," Mary answered. "Each morning, I start at my head and...

A Texas Redneck was driving his old pick up truck down the road with his girlfriend at his side when all of a sudden the truck started to buck and stall. With that, he said to his girlfriend that he had...