Clean Jokes

John finally found the nerve to tell his fiancée that he had to break off their engagement so he could marry another woman.'Can she cook like I can?' the distraught woman...

When Bob's wife ran away with his car, his money and his best friend, he got so depressed that his doctor sent him to see a psychiatrist.
Bob told the psychiatrist his troubles and said, 'Life isn't worth living. I think I'm going to...

Joe walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, 'Perfect timing. You're just like Bryan.'
'Who?'...

A man was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared.
'Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success,' he cackled. 'I have been in the...

A doctor and his wife were sunbathing on a beach when a well-endowed, beautiful, young, blonde woman in a tight-fitting bikini strolled passed.
The woman looked at the doctor, smiled seductively, and said ...

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, 'What are the grounds for your divorce?'
She replied, 'About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.'
'No,' he said, 'I mean what is the foundation...

A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present.
He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager, 'How much is that new Barbie in the window?'
The Manager replied...

An elderly couple was driving across the country. While the woman was behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway patrol.
'Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?' the cop said.
The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, 'What did he say?'
'He said you were...

Jimmy's wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger.
After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the 'miracle' products, she asks Jimmy...

This minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures were being made.
The first Sunday, he only preached ten minutes.
The second Sunday, he preached only twenty minutes.
But, on the third Sunday...