Clean Jokes

Anyone who has raised, or even just been around, a toddler knows these things are true. Toddlers and drunks are EERILY similar!
No personal boundaries.
Falls over A LOT. Gets up...

A father had promised his two young sons he would take them on a fishing trip. The boys were digging for fishing bait in their parents` garden. Uncovering a many legged creature, one of the boys proudly dangled...

When a customer left his cell phone in my store, I scrolled through his saved numbers, stopped at "Mom" and pushed send. His mother answered, and I told her what happened...

A farmer purchases an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds, the farmhouse is falling apart, and the fences are collapsing...

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-tim...

Lecturer: We all know Lord Ram went to spend 14 years in forest and Sita was kidnapped because of a "quality issue".
Student: How is this anything to do with quality?
Lecturer: Tell me why did Sita...

Suzanne was preparing a ham dinner. After she cut off the end of the ham, she placed it in a pan for baking. Her friend asked her, "Why did you cut off the end of the ham?"
She replied, "I really...

Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It`s fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel food cake and the recipe said, "Beat 12 eggs separately." Well, I didn`t have enough bowls to do that, so I...

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I`ve got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull...

Grandma made such beautiful pies. One day I asked her, "How do you get such beautiful pies with the crimps around the edge so even?"
"Well, it`s a family secret...