Clean Jokes

An airbus with 346 passengers on board met with technical problems and as the message was flashed to the passengers, they started screaming with fear. The Captain said, "Don`t panic. I want to ask you...

A blonde walking by a travel agency notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special - $99!"
She goes inside, hands the agent her money, and says, "I`d like the $99 cruise special, please...

After a round of golf, four ladies sat around the club house, chatting. Seeing the ladies, the Pro approached them and asked, "How did your game go?"
The first lady, a brunette, said she had a good round...

A computer programmer was taking a smoke break when a woman passing by sarcastically commented, "Don`t you know that those things can kill you? They put a warning on every pack...

"Sister Ann, aren`t you putting on a little weight?" inquired Father Dan during his visit to the convent, suspiciously eyeing her bulging stomach. "Why, no Father," answered the nun demurely, "It`s just...

The first mate on a ship decided to celebrate an occasion with a `little` stowed away rum. Unfortunately he got drunk and was still drunk the next morning. The captain saw him drunk and when the first mate...

A couple, hosting a dinner party, were interrupted when the maid called the hostess to the kitchen. "Ma`am, the cat climbed up on the kitchen counter and ate the lot of the fresh salmon...

Q: Tell us about yourself ?
A: Yourself is pronoun used when the subject and object of the verb are you.
Q: What challenges you faced in your earlier job...

Archimedes`s mother: "Didn`t you have any shame running naked in the street from? And, WHO is this girl Eureka???"
Thomas Edison`s mother: Of course I am proud that you invented...

A young man watched as an elderly couple sat down to lunch at McDonald`s. He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the old gentleman carefully divided...