Clean Jokes

The following ad in the Atlanta Journal is reported to have received numerous calls: "Single Black Female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I am a very good-looking girl who loves to play...

Father: What happened to your results? Son: I have been NEWZEALANDED.
Father: What?!!!! What do you mean? Son: Dad, Myself and another boy both scored exactly same marks...

An underwear making company was having a tough time with stock theft. On departure for home, all workers` bags were searched and everything always seemed OK. All security measures one can think of were...

Two guys are sitting at a bar. "You know why I love this bar?" asks the first one.
"No," says the second guy. "Why do you love this bar?"
The first guy points at the window, which is six stories...

A young Arab boy asks his dad, "What are you wearing on your head?"
The father said, "Why, my son, it is a `chechia.` In the desert it protects our heads from the intense heat of the sun...

A Texas Oil Tycoon and an Alaskan Oil Tycoon were debating on which state had the most oil. The Alaskan Oil Tycoon said, "Listen, there is so much oil in Alaska that I could buy enough gold to build a wall...

Santa walks into a bar. He asks the barman, "How tall is a penguin?"
The barman says about three feet.
Santa, "Don`t you get any penguins taller than that...

A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher says, "Okay , but...

Wife is like a TV and Girlfriend is like a MOBILE. At home you watch TV, but when you go out you take your MOBILE with you. Sometimes you enjoy TV, but most of the time, you play with your mobie...

Stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains...