Clean Jokes

A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots."
Bartender says, "You want them both now or one at a time?"
The guy says," Oh, I want them both now...

A lady walks into a salon, sits down in the chair and the stylist asks, "What can I do for you today?"
"Yes, I would like to have my hair colored blonde...

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked...

A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place

A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency...

A college student wrote a letter home: Dear folks, I feel miserable because I have to keep writing for money. I feel ashamed and unhappy. I have to ask for another hundred, but every cell in my body rebels...

An old man went to the college that he went to when he was a youth. He knocked on room number 3 of the hostel and said, "May I come in. I lived in this very room thirty years ago when I studied in this college....

Shopping Malls Me Patni Ke Peeche Peeche Bina Kaam Ke Ghumte Husbands Ko Dekhkar Bada Hi Taras Aata Hai Aur Dukh Bhi Hota Hai. Malls Mein Baithne Ki Suvidha Bhi Nahi Hoti. Isliye In Shopping Malls Ke Managers...

A Chinese man boarded a flight to Chicago and promptly sat down on the first seat he encountered. He was soon told that seat was reserved for flight attendants. With his limited English he did not fully understand...

One day, a guy went into a store, just browsing. He suddenly saw a statue of a rat made of bronze, and thought that it was interesting. He decided to buy it, and so he did. The guy walked out of the store...