Clean Jokes

The elderly minister was searching his closet for his collar before church one Sunday morning. In the back of the closet, he found a small box containing 3 eggs and 100 $1 bills. He called his wife into the closet to ask her about the box and its contents.

Thief: Oh! The police is here. Quick, jump out of the window.
Fellow thief: But this is the...

After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor. The Pope asked that what he can do. Colonel said that he want him to change the daily prayer from...

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. 'Look, I`ll give you $100 if you`ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I`m to promise to...

A man walks in to a confession booth and says I have sinned. What did you do asks the priest. I committed a murder.The priest says take a drink out of the holy cup and you will be forgiven. A women walks in to the confession booth and says...

A minister said one morning, 'Next Sunday I am going to preach on the subject of liars. And in this connection, as a preparation for my discourse, I would like you all to read the seventeenth chapter of Mark.' On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to begin, and said...

On Christmas, a five year old boy asks his mom will he get anything from Santa.
Mom says, 'No you have been a really bad boy, but if you write a letter promising to be a good boy next year he might give you a present.'
Well, after thinking a while boy...

Three men: a project manager, a software engineer, and a hardware engineer are helping out on a project. About midweek they decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a...

Two guys, of limited intelligence, were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped under the surface. After floating under blazing heat, for 6 days, they ran out of food and water. On the 10th day...

Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours, until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge. They type furiously, lines of code streaming across the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition...