Mature Jokes

Boot camp. Duluth, Minnesota. February. Six AM. Six below zero.
The Sergeant bellows, "Outta those bunks! Birthday suit inspection! I want you to fall in outside, NOW! Buck nakied! Stand close enough...

A female reporter was conducting an interview with a farmer about Mad Cow Disease.
"Mr. Brown, do you have any idea what might be the cause of the disease...

A fish in the lake thinks, "If that fly dropped 6 inches I'd get it!"
A bear on land thinks, "If that fly dropped 6 inches, the fish would jump out of the water...

In a check out line the other day and the couple were arguing about whose turn it was to pay.
The clerk was kind of listening until she heard the lady said to the guy, "Stop being a...

Eighty two year old Sister Croakster called her home teachers for an emergency blessing, crying, "I think my husband is having a heart attack!"
When the home teachers arrived there...

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach and for the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates.
A woman walks past and says...

The wedding date was set and the groom's 3 friends, who were a Carpenter, an Electrician and a Dentist were deciding what pranks to play on the couple on their wedding night...

The pick-up couple was relaxing after a satisfying session of love making. The guy considered himself lucky to have been able to attract and bed such a luscious looking dish...

A husband and wife were in the bathroom getting ready for work when the husband looked at his wife and said, "I gotta have you!"
He backed her up against the bathroom door, pulled down her panties and...

A Beer is always wet, a woman is not..1 point for beer!
Beer is horrible, when it is hot..1 point for women!
A cold beer satisfies you..1 point for beer...