Mature Jokes

One day, Jimmy is walking home from school. When he gets home, he finds his grandpa sitting on the Porch without any pants on. So he goes up to his grandpa and says, "Grandpa, do you realize that...

John swallowed a handful of blue stuff and paid a visit to a gorgeous young prostitute.
After two hours of exhausting great sex he says, "`Now you won`t see me for a while....

An older couple are playing in the annual club championship. They are playing in a play off hole and it is down to a 6 inch putt that the wife has to make. She takes her stance and her husband can see her trembling...

A priest is out for an afternoon stroll and turns the corner to find little Johnny with a hammer smashing the daylights out of a bunch of ants. The kid is muttering to himself, "I hate these fucking ants...

Grandpa was showing little Johnny around the farm, and when they come to the corral, he explained, "That`s a bull and a cow, and he`s serving her."
A little later on, he said, "That`s a stud and a mare...

Mac the sailor docked at New York after a frustrating three-month voyage. Unfortunately he`d lost most of his pay playing poker on board ship, so when he eventually found a lady of the night...

Greg thought he would give Keli a birthday surprise by buying her a bra. He entered a ladies shop, rather intimidated, but the salesgirls took charge to help him.
"What color?" they asked...

Two Irish kids playing in a lane found a donkey who had died with a hard on. Being the mischievous kind of boys, they cut off the donkey`s dick and began brandishing it in the air. Just then...

One day little Johnny`s teacher was teaching the class about agriculture. To help with this, she was showing pictures of farm equipment. She puts up the first picture, "What is this...

A middle aged guy and his teenage daughter were riding a motor bike and taking a shortcut through a darkened park when they were stopped by a gang of muggers. They searched them and took the guy`s wallet, his watch and...