Mature Jokes

One night a man has a dream that he died and went to heaven. He sat next to another man on a bench and began talking. Before long a beautiful redhead walks by. "Man, I`d sure like to fuck that...

There`s an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I`ll quit...

Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for weeks until the priest, overcome with curiosity, approached her. "Sister, I couldn`t help but notice that you put...

The two old coots were both only a year short of retirement from the assembly line, but one Monday morning that didn`t keep Paul from boasting to Greg about his sexual endurance. "Three times," gasped Greg admiringly....

A newly married man was discussing his honeymoon. He says to his buddy at lunch, "Last night, I rolled over, tapped my beautiful young wife on the shoulder, gave her a wink, and we had ourselves a performance...

An Italian family is at the dinner table when the father says to his oldest son, "Chris! Why you a such a fat a boy?"
Chris says, "Poppa, it`s a Mama`s spaghetti! I can`t a stop a eating it...

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would...

There was this young couple who have dated since high school, but they have never had sex because the boy`s mother always told him that what a woman has between her legs has teeth. For obvious reasons, the boy has always...

When his mother asked why, he replied, "The teacher told us to say our ABC`s and all the little white boys could say them and I could only get to the letter E. Why is that?"
His mom said, "Because you black...

A gas station in Mississippi was trying to increase its sales so the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex with Fill-up."
Soon a local "redneck" pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex...