Clean Jokes

A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:
Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great..

One day in a well known university, a senior professor started his class on a very serious topic. The moment he turned towards the blackboard, one of the students whistled. He turned, looked at the class and asked...

It`s 3:00 A.M. and Goldie wakes up to see her husband pacing the floor. "Morris, why can`t you sleep?" she asks him.
"You know our next door neighbor, Sam. I borrowed $1000 from him, and it`s due tomorrow...

Bank`s ATM Officer goes to a South Indian restaurant.
He asks the waiter: What have you got?
Waiter: Idly , vada, uppma, pongal, dosa , poori, parotta, naan, oothappam, idiyappam...

A retired older couple return to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman has just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde in a mini skirt and a halter. The old man was visibly upset....

Stan is seconds away from receiving a vasectomy when his brother and sister-in-law barge in holding their newborn baby.
"Stop! You can`t do this!" exclaims the brother...

Vishwanathan Anand always gets tense, when the waiter brings in the folder and says `Check!`
Friends pay restaurant bills on a de-tu-de basis.
My watch is stuck between 2 and 2.30. It`s a do or dhai situation...

I called my Arab friend home for a traditional `Onam Sadya` (traditional lunch). The Arab friend asked me: Is the Onam lunch Veg or Non veg?
I told him: It`s Vegetarian. Are you coming...

An Indian warrior walks into Starbucks with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee."
The waiter says, "Sure chief...

A young man and woman were eager to enjoy a picnic in the park one Saturday noon, and they opted to go through a fast-food drive-in for a quick snack. They ordered, paid, got their bag of goodies, and headed for...