Clean Jokes

Two mothers were talking about their sons.
The first said, "My son is such a saint. He works hard, doesn`t smoke, and he hasn`t so much as looked at a woman in over two years...

Boss, to four of his employees, "I`m really sorry, but I`m going to have to let one of you go."
Black Employee, "I`m a protected minority.... Female Employee, "And I`m a woman."

Oldest Employee, "Fire me, buster, and I`ll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it`ll make your head spin."

To which they all turn to look at the helpless young, white, male employee, who thinks a moment, then responds, "I think I might be gay..."

A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle showed him the usual things - chickens, cows, crops, etc. After three days, however, it was obvious that the nephew was...

I had a blind date last night. But I was concerned - What do I do if she`s really someone I don`t like at all ? I`ll be stuck with her with no easy way out. Turns out, there`s an app for that...

A guy who had forgotten the dates for a number of his friends` and relatives` birthdays and anniversaries, decided to compile a list on the computer and have the dates highlighted on screen when the machine...

This morning I was sitting on a park bench next to a homeless man. I started a conversation by asking him how he ended up this way. He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat...

Somehow a dog gets lost in an African Jungle. As he is finding his way a lion spots him. The lion thinks since the dog...

A Chinese man boarded a flight to Chicago and promptly sat down on the first seat he encountered. He was soon told that seat was reserved for flight attendants. With his limited English he did not fully understand...

On a visit to my wife`s native England for our honeymoon, we arrived at London`s Gatwick Airport. Tania headed for the British-passport control line while I, an American, waited in the foreigners...

An old lady had always wanted to travel abroad. Now that she was getting on in years, she thought she would really like to do so before she died. Until then, she`d never even been out of the country. So she began by...